FAQ

Can I follow if I’m X?

All sapphic people can follow. We’re inclusive of trans, nb, and ace sapphics

Can I follow if I’m a minor?

Yes. We believe education is for everyone. Please keep in mind that all mods are adults and make sure you’re comfortable with that.

Can I ask a question about X?

Yes, and we will do our best to answer it. Check out our answered ask and the rest of the FAQ to see if your question has already been answered. Also, to keep everyone safe, please provide trigger warnings before any messages involving eating disorders, rape, CSA, and sexual assault.

Why does it take long for my ask to be answered?

We are determined to find and provide the most accurate and trustworthy resources and information and that takes some time

Can I ask a question that’s not sex related?

Yes! And we will do our best to answer it.

Do you take submissions?

Yes. They can be stories, experiences, posts, etc.

How can I find X?

Our tags page has a list of all of our tags. We try to keep it updated for easier navigation and convenience.

What if I want more information?

Our resources page is a great way to start. We try to keep it updated and are always adding on more

I’m X years old and my crush is Y years old. Is it ok for as to be together?

In general, we like to follow “half your age plus 7″ rule. You can use this site to calculate this. If you aren’t close to your limit, you can be sure that it’s fine. If you are over your limit or barely in it, then you should think about if there might be some power imbalance between you two.

What are dental dams?

Dental dams are used for safe oral sex. STIs are passed through body fluids and are still a risk when giving oral to someone with a vagina and with anal play. Here’s a simple visual guide on how to use one. Also, check out our dental dams tag. If you can’t find them, or the cost is too much, condoms are a good alternative (and non-latex ones are easier to find).

Is it okay to have nail polish when fingering?

As long as the nail polish isn’t chipped, contains anything abrasive (like glitter), or any ingredient someone may be allergic to, it’s safe. You want to really make sure your nails are clean because nail polish can hide dirt. If you have any concerns, wear a latex glove, condom, or finger cot to be safer.

What about long nails?

You can wear rubber gloves (make sure to test for allergies especially with latex) if your nails aren’t too long. If they are very long or very sharp, you can put some cotton in the ends of the glove fingers to pad them which helps prevent both the glove and your nails from breaking. Related tag

It’s my first time! What do I do?

No one is an expert the first time they have sex. It’s okay to be clumsy and not know what to do. It’s important to communicate with your partner(s). While there are a few tips in our techniques tag and our positions tag, have a conversation about likes, dislikes, boundaries, and limits. Have fun and be safe! Also, check out this post.

Oral???

Talk to your partner beforehand and ask them what feels good, what they like, what their boundaries are, etc. Here are some tips for giving oral to women with vulvas. Here are some tips for giving oral to women with penises. And here’s a couple other tips: 1, 2. Be sure to stay safe and as always, have fun! Laugh, giggle, be free.

How do I approach talking about sex?

Talking About Sex: part 1, part 2

Do you have any information on BDSM?

There are links on our resources page.

I have no idea how to flirt.

Talk to them about light, fun subjects like movies, shows, games, etc. Make jokes, ask about their interests, try to find some common ground. If you’re nervous, just remember that they’re most likely just as nervous. And most importantly, have fun! Flirting isn’t rocket science, so don’t psych yourself up too much. It’s okay to be clumsy and even a little awkward. Bonus

I have a question about orgasms.

Check out our orgasm tag!

Do you have any info on sex toys?

Do we ever. For easier cleanup, cover dildos and vibrators with a condom. For solo play, change the condom every time you switch orifices. When playing with a partner(s) change the condom for every person and orifice. Here’s a sex toy size guide, how to choose a dildo, strap on harness information (when choosing a dildo for a strap-on, the base needs to be flared so it can clip into the harness), how to clean each material. Lube is your friend. Water-based and silicone-based lubes are safe to use with latex. However, don’t use silicone-based lube on silicone toys, as it can break down the material. There’s also information in our sex toys tag.

I have a question about strap-ons.

Check out our strap-ons tag! And here’s a video (not graphic) that has some tips. Also, see above for harness and dildo information.

Is it weird that I haven’t had sex yet and I’m older than the average age?

Not at all. It’s normal for women who are attracted to women to have a late start in the dating world, thus have a late start having sex. It’s okay. There isn’t a deadline to have sex for the first time. There’s nothing wrong with you.

Am I still a lesbian if X?

Yes. If you feel that you are a lesbian, no thoughts, dreams, etc. are going to invalidate that. As long as you’re a woman/woman aligned person who’s exclusively attracted to women/woman aligned people, you’re a lesbian.

How can I tell what’s genuine attraction to men and what’s compulsory heterosexuality?

Here’s a nifty little post to help you figure that out. Also, check our comp het tag.

Am I transphobic if X?

Please check out these posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Can people with vulvas ejaculate?

It is possible.